it is so strange when both parents are gone - i had that sense of relief, in a way. still miss 'em, but they suffer no longer. i think i sent condolences, before - but, i send, again. a nice fall day is hard to beat! and, get the word to eric:, please: his new album is GRAND!!! xxxcm
I love your essays! Can't wait for your album, and next book. I also have a daughter capable of "What are you, crazy?" looks, so I particularly enjoyed that.
Both of my parents are gone, and from time to time, usually right before sleep, I realize I am alone, except for my three dogs. I guess that's fine. The day is coming when the ferryman will make his pennies anyway.
This piece made me fall in love with the city (again) just a little bit more, and I needed that. Also I appreciated your words about your father. Thank you for the writing here and throughout the diary. (Oh and thanks for mentioning the Ruth Asawa show which I might have missed otherwise!)
Hi Amy! First time reading here and glad to say it’s a pleasure. I’m so sorry to know about your loss and really hope that you find peace with it. I feel that deeply from experience. It’s been a heck of a trip since for me. Yet, I too felt relief for both parents due to the physical suffering and emotional toll. We were all a tight knit bunch. They surely know how we adored, cherished them and doted in their wishes as much as possible. That love is forever and I’ll never be more grateful than for them, my beloved Mom and Pops. I’m living across the river myself- and still, your writing drew me a very vivid and nostalgic experience! I go often, about every week for me now, when it was everyday living. It’s so nice to catch up with our kids, no matter how old they get in my opinion. Sometimes, even more effective than at childhood, to show us once again that we never really stop learning. I’ve gotta say I haven’t had entire displeasure with the City yet. Yes, there are moments of “I can’t stand the friggin weather!- Or what filth, stench and vermin are we surrounded by?!” Still, I realize it’s not what I love about New York. It’s a repulsion I have to look past at times to indulge in what I do love. Artist here, after all! It’s bittersweet when I think of all the amazing places and people we’ve experienced here and how it’s changed so much. Moments still linger dearly. However, there are many things which still make New York City what it is. And I mean THE City of Manhattan.
I usually look forward to hopping on a train across that dirty old river to see friends and explore even more of what I haven’t. I hope you continue to travel amongst your passions with caution flying to the wind whenever you feel the urge. It’s our time for freedom in our own personal lanes and we’re at the helm. All the best...
I love this Adriana! Thank you so much for reading and for the vivid comment that captures the energy and allure of Manhattan and this new freedom. Take care and hope you have a good city visit soon.
You are so welcome, Amy! I appreciate your kind comments to my reply, as well. I definitely plan to keep returning while I can. Hope you will too. ~Adriana
I am so glad you wrote of this moment, this day. Mine was very similar, different city but very similar anyway. It happened to me twice, once with my 1st daughter and another time with my 2nd daughter. How strangely familiar it felt as I read your piece. I did not write down my moments as you did so, thank you for bringing back that attitude, comfort and daughter’s protest of a mother’s casual suggestion. Oh my!
This is such an engaging piece. I was hooked at the idea of being no living person’s child. I still feel the strangeness of that, even 10 years later. Was just in Manhattan last weekend and felt that same intensity of all the people moving through everywhere. It’s a special place to visit and I realized my early-20s desire to live there is very much gone now. Thanks for a great read.
Thanks Julie - it's a relief feeling no urge to live in the city any more. But then I'll have a great night at a place that could only exist in NYC (I got to perform in a Burt Bacharach tribute at the Century Club in Manhattan the night after I wrote this, and the audience was all these elegant, accomplished older NYers) and think "if only..." Thankfully I know by now to keep that with all my other fantasy lives, like being a surfer!
Oh boy, this was 1. beautiful, excellent, engaging, and 2. shockingly/perfectly provocative for something deep in me to ride the flow of your thoughts, right out into the open and in my face, and joyfully point to the freedom that I'd finally been standing in but hadn't recognized. xoxoxo
I had not read much about what I call ‘adult orphanhood’ when my last parent passed. You touch on those feelings. I’ve talked to others as their parents passed and found they had the same sense of both freedom and responsibility. It seems a universal human condition that is not talked about enough.
I wonder if it's a more recent condition, as people are living longer and have more expectations for what life might still hold beyond what older people used to hope for? Your comment prompted me to search the term and I found this great piece. https://www.thecut.com/2022/10/coping-as-an-adult-orphan.html Thanks Allen.
My heart leapt when you empathized with the server in the cafe. It’s more than a city contact high, it’s the Amy Rigby moment of immediacy you bring to everything you do!
Love this, Amy. It really conveys that delight of you enjoying your own company and the freedom of spending as little or as much time as you want, doing what you want. It’s exhilarating!! Thanks for the contact high.
Thanks for the mini tour of NYC. Haven't been there for 20+ years, and it's great to hear that everyday folks can still be found there. Very nostalgic! And thanks too for "gravitas". Had to look it up, and it is not, as I wondered, a dish of cold pickled fish! Thanks again Amy! <3
Ha, thanks Mel! I actually looked it up too and had to add the word "occasional" because overall gravitas felt way too heavy. It delights me in a weird way when I learn that people who once lived in NYC don't feel the obligation to check in in person, that sounds freeing! If family weren't there, would I even bother anymore? Take care and thanks again!
it is so strange when both parents are gone - i had that sense of relief, in a way. still miss 'em, but they suffer no longer. i think i sent condolences, before - but, i send, again. a nice fall day is hard to beat! and, get the word to eric:, please: his new album is GRAND!!! xxxcm
You did Clarke, but thanks again. And yes isn't Eric's album wonderful - will pass that on to him! x
I love your essays! Can't wait for your album, and next book. I also have a daughter capable of "What are you, crazy?" looks, so I particularly enjoyed that.
Kinda one of the best things about being a parent, right Greg? It keeps us on our toes forever! Thanks so much.
My mother died when I was 22 and father did when I was 30. Both had extended “health issue” so there was an element of relief in my emotions.
The most significant emotion, however, was I’m scheduled next to die.
An old man now at 80, I know I’m short time even if hale.
What amazed me looking back was the shock of peers losing parents.
It’s like, what did they expect? Didn’t they understand life is a one way street to a stop sign?
I’m amazed I’m still alive and the last 20 years are considered bonus years.
Yes - we're next. I like the idea of the bonus years! Thanks Jim.
Both of my parents are gone, and from time to time, usually right before sleep, I realize I am alone, except for my three dogs. I guess that's fine. The day is coming when the ferryman will make his pennies anyway.
Ah the ferryman - be good if it was Bryan Ferry.
This piece made me fall in love with the city (again) just a little bit more, and I needed that. Also I appreciated your words about your father. Thank you for the writing here and throughout the diary. (Oh and thanks for mentioning the Ruth Asawa show which I might have missed otherwise!)
Thanks so much Carlene! Wasn't that a wonderful show? So inspiring. Thanks again for reading, and for your comment.
Hi Amy! First time reading here and glad to say it’s a pleasure. I’m so sorry to know about your loss and really hope that you find peace with it. I feel that deeply from experience. It’s been a heck of a trip since for me. Yet, I too felt relief for both parents due to the physical suffering and emotional toll. We were all a tight knit bunch. They surely know how we adored, cherished them and doted in their wishes as much as possible. That love is forever and I’ll never be more grateful than for them, my beloved Mom and Pops. I’m living across the river myself- and still, your writing drew me a very vivid and nostalgic experience! I go often, about every week for me now, when it was everyday living. It’s so nice to catch up with our kids, no matter how old they get in my opinion. Sometimes, even more effective than at childhood, to show us once again that we never really stop learning. I’ve gotta say I haven’t had entire displeasure with the City yet. Yes, there are moments of “I can’t stand the friggin weather!- Or what filth, stench and vermin are we surrounded by?!” Still, I realize it’s not what I love about New York. It’s a repulsion I have to look past at times to indulge in what I do love. Artist here, after all! It’s bittersweet when I think of all the amazing places and people we’ve experienced here and how it’s changed so much. Moments still linger dearly. However, there are many things which still make New York City what it is. And I mean THE City of Manhattan.
I usually look forward to hopping on a train across that dirty old river to see friends and explore even more of what I haven’t. I hope you continue to travel amongst your passions with caution flying to the wind whenever you feel the urge. It’s our time for freedom in our own personal lanes and we’re at the helm. All the best...
~Adriana
I love this Adriana! Thank you so much for reading and for the vivid comment that captures the energy and allure of Manhattan and this new freedom. Take care and hope you have a good city visit soon.
You are so welcome, Amy! I appreciate your kind comments to my reply, as well. I definitely plan to keep returning while I can. Hope you will too. ~Adriana
As always, a delightful read, and you capture qualities of the city that I loved about it during my 16 years there.
Thank you, that makes me happy to take you back there!
I am so glad you wrote of this moment, this day. Mine was very similar, different city but very similar anyway. It happened to me twice, once with my 1st daughter and another time with my 2nd daughter. How strangely familiar it felt as I read your piece. I did not write down my moments as you did so, thank you for bringing back that attitude, comfort and daughter’s protest of a mother’s casual suggestion. Oh my!
Thank you Miki!
This is such an engaging piece. I was hooked at the idea of being no living person’s child. I still feel the strangeness of that, even 10 years later. Was just in Manhattan last weekend and felt that same intensity of all the people moving through everywhere. It’s a special place to visit and I realized my early-20s desire to live there is very much gone now. Thanks for a great read.
Thanks Julie - it's a relief feeling no urge to live in the city any more. But then I'll have a great night at a place that could only exist in NYC (I got to perform in a Burt Bacharach tribute at the Century Club in Manhattan the night after I wrote this, and the audience was all these elegant, accomplished older NYers) and think "if only..." Thankfully I know by now to keep that with all my other fantasy lives, like being a surfer!
Great perspective! I hold a special place for my fantasy lives as well, including as a political cartoonist.
LOL....
Oh boy, this was 1. beautiful, excellent, engaging, and 2. shockingly/perfectly provocative for something deep in me to ride the flow of your thoughts, right out into the open and in my face, and joyfully point to the freedom that I'd finally been standing in but hadn't recognized. xoxoxo
How wonderful, thank you Ginny.
I had not read much about what I call ‘adult orphanhood’ when my last parent passed. You touch on those feelings. I’ve talked to others as their parents passed and found they had the same sense of both freedom and responsibility. It seems a universal human condition that is not talked about enough.
I wonder if it's a more recent condition, as people are living longer and have more expectations for what life might still hold beyond what older people used to hope for? Your comment prompted me to search the term and I found this great piece. https://www.thecut.com/2022/10/coping-as-an-adult-orphan.html Thanks Allen.
I feeeeel New York through these words
🗽🍂🪄
Thank you!
My heart leapt when you empathized with the server in the cafe. It’s more than a city contact high, it’s the Amy Rigby moment of immediacy you bring to everything you do!
Oh, thank you Tony - that is so sweet!
Love this, Amy. It really conveys that delight of you enjoying your own company and the freedom of spending as little or as much time as you want, doing what you want. It’s exhilarating!! Thanks for the contact high.
Thank you Eline - you got it, yes - exhilaration!
Thanks for the mini tour of NYC. Haven't been there for 20+ years, and it's great to hear that everyday folks can still be found there. Very nostalgic! And thanks too for "gravitas". Had to look it up, and it is not, as I wondered, a dish of cold pickled fish! Thanks again Amy! <3
Ha, thanks Mel! I actually looked it up too and had to add the word "occasional" because overall gravitas felt way too heavy. It delights me in a weird way when I learn that people who once lived in NYC don't feel the obligation to check in in person, that sounds freeing! If family weren't there, would I even bother anymore? Take care and thanks again!